Too Many Women by RM Zurkan

Author:RM Zurkan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: women humor fiction, women and men, women over 40, immigrants vs americans
Publisher: RM Zurkan

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Chapter 14

Beatrice phoned Ilona from Montreal, and Ilona phoned me right after to tell me the news. “First, she wants to make sure we know that Federico’s mother is coming. I told her we don’t have room and she’ll have to go to a hotel, and she said in that case she’ll tell Federico’s mother she can’t come.”

“You shouldn’t have told her that,” I said. “Maybe they won’t come now.” Ilona hates disappointing anyone--as much as she loves doing the impossible.

“Well, when she said she’d tell Federico his mother couldn’t come I told her to wait, and I’d see if anybody else has room. I told her to call me back in a few days, and I’d see what I can do.”

“Who do you want to ask?”

“Catherine,” Ilona said.

“Oh, no, not her. She’s dirty, if his mother sees how she lives she’ll be sure and tell Federico not to marry Beatrice.”

“She’ll say no, anyway,” Ilona said. “You know how selfish she is. She already said that Beatrice and Federico should get a hotel room, and Federico’s mother should stay with us.”

No relative who visited New York ever stayed in a hotel, not when Ilona and Ivan had a perfectly good couch. “I can’t tell his mother to go to a hotel,” Ilona said. “She’s an old woman.”

“Of course not,” I said.

“Remember when we stayed in the hotel in Florida?” Ilona asked.

“Of course. You had just gotten over bronchitis. New York was so cold, Ivan told you to go to Florida to get warm.”

“And he paid for you to go with me.”

“Yes, and then those people kept us up all night, laughing, talking, playing cards till nine, ten o’clock. Don’t listen to Catherine,” I said. I think Catherine has a crush on Ivan. She probably hopes that eventually Ivan will go crazy because of all our relatives staying too often, and then she’ll move in. “You still wash her clothes?” I asked. It was Ivan’s idea that Ilona should earn a little money by doing Catherine’s laundry because Catherine works all day and has no time.

Ilona said yes. “When are you coming in?”

“Soon. What are you going to tell Beatrice? About Federico’s mother, I mean.”

“I’ll ask Grace. Maybe she has room.”

I didn’t ask her why she didn’t ask Serene. I already knew. Serene wasn’t Hungarian. She was Polish. Polish Jews, they’re the worst.

“Let me go,” she said. “Charley brought me his leash, that means he wants to go out. Plus I have no cake so I better buy something. I’ll ask Grace to come for dessert, and if Catherine drops in or the fairies I’ll have to have something sweet to serve them with their coffee. I have no time to bake today.”

“You do too much,” I said, resenting the fact that Ilona brings cake or cookies with her everywhere she goes because I never do. “They don’t need cake. Everybody’s on a diet.”

Ilona, ignoring this, said, “I’ll call you again later.”

When Ilona phoned later that afternoon, I waited a few seconds before saying, “hullo.

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